Ludicrous Mind Ramblings

I just turned 26. A year ago I used to shun every possible family conversation that would end in the question "don't you think it's time you got married?" It was mostly my mother and grandmother who would deliberately open the subject in my every presence at family gatherings, grousing about me getting older and musing over stories of family and friends who were my age and had started their own families - some who have even had a child or two! I used to give them that cold look of mine and tell them I'm too busy building a career and that I still haven't found Mr. Perfect. That, I used to truly believe in. Even with my colleagues and friends getting engaged and married, I still had a firm belief in my fairytale that was going to arrive sometime soon. The feeling of me wanting to get married had never crossed my mind. At weddings, I would never even bother to line up for the toss of the bridal bouquet. There was always ample time for me to wait for my prince ...

You shall conform to societal norms. You shall not defy the rules set forth for the betterment of your life and society. Those statements only push me to rebel. But why do we conform? Is it because we're constantly searching for consensus from our family, peers and groups? Does it fulfil a sense of connectedness that is necessary for our existence? I always wondered why we had to conform to the norms of society yet were taught in an environment that calls for individualism. Just a thought...

This morning was nothing but ordinary. I slept past my alarm and barely made it to work on time. This has been the habit for as long as I remember. I have come to acquire a lot of bad habits, yet the worst of them all has to be my passion for words. Yet worse, verbosity . Well spelt, pretentious, cynical and sesquipedalian terms are my favourites. It all started in my early years, when I began exploring the magnificent world of books. I owe it all to my second grade teacher, who was always pushing my classmates and I to read. By the age of 9 I was probably Penguin Books' favourite customer; I had ordered almost every children's book by post, including an encyclopaedia. At age 12 I had read each and every book at my school library - yes, Encyclopaedia Britannica included. That was my little secret. My teenage years had to be the worst period of my life. But in my mind I was living in another world, with Jane Austen, William Blake and Louisa May Alcott. I was lost in the beautifu...

It took me a whole night of thinking to realize that, in our lives, we have choices. Every state we reach is a result of a choice we make; of an opportunity we either seize or let go of. And looking back at the almost 24 years of my life, it seems that all the choices I have made were wrong. The older I get and the wiser I think I am, the more I depend on emotions in making my decisions. Everytime I get to this stage I sit down and think; yes, I think really hard, and I always promise myself that next time I would put a lot more rationale into my actions. Yet, when I get the chance to fix my life I always end up acting like the 15-year-old girl I was once; the girl who had just left home for college and was set free for the first time in her life. Just the other day I had reached the mountain top for the very first time; I had reached the stage where I had actually gotten over my fears and was able to stand up on my own and prove my independence to the whole world. I knew I was making ...